abella26

I have been with my company for a year and a half now. I am currently working from home. Which is a true blessing. This last week has not been a true blessing. They are highly recommending we work 26 hrs over time. Yes the money would be great. The time with my children and time to myself is more important. I feel bad not doing it because I don’t want to let my boss down. I am two days in and already exhausted. My eyes feel like they are going to pop out of my head and my butt is numb from sitting all day.

I am also having problems with my motivation. I am just can not get myself to drink enough water during the day.  Or get off my ass to exercise.

With this crazy schedule I get up and start working at 6am. I end work at 3:30pm. I go pick up my daughters at daycare. When we get home I usually play a game or dolls with them for an hour or two. Then it is time to cook dinner. After dinner I clean up, bath the girls, get them to bed and work another 2 hours. By that time I am exhausted and ready for bed myself. I am so overwhelmed with it all.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY IT IS SO HARD TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.  I TAKE CARE OF MY GIRLS, MY SMALL GROUP FROM CHURCH, MY FRIENDS AND MY FAMILY. BUT I AM ALWAYS LAST. I EVEN PUT WORK ABOVE MYSELF THESE LAST TWO WEEKS. I WORKED SO HARD THAT I COULD NOT EVEN FUNCTION YESTERDAY.

I NEED TO LEARN TO PUT MYSELF FIRST. BEFORE I HAD KIDS I ALWAYS TOOK CARE OF ME. NOW IT IS ALL ABOUT THEM. I KNOW I WILL BE A BETTER MOTHER IF I START TAKING CARE OF MYSELF BUT I CAN NOT SEEM TO MAKE THE COMMITMENT.

WHY IS THIS SO TOUGH?  UGH JUST VENTING. I NEED TO MAKE A HUGE CHANGE IN MY LIFE AND DONT KNOW WHERE TO START.

SO LAST WEEK I WAS TRYING TO FOLLOW THE TURBO JAM WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM. IT WAS SO HARD THE FOOD OPTIONS WERE NOT THAT GREAT. SO I ENDED UP DOING MY OWN THING WHICH I KNOW WAS NOT AS GOOD FOR ME. BUT IT WASN’T TAKE OUT EVERY OTHER DAY LIKE I USE TO BE. I JUST NEED A DIET BECAUSE IF I HAVE TO FOLLOW A PROGRAM OR I AM A MESS PICKING FOR MYSELF. I HAVE BEEN LOOKING A WEIGHT WATCHERS. MY WORK GIVES UP TO  $150 FOR COMPLETEING HEALTHY LIVING PROGRAMS SO I WANT TO USE IT ON SOMETHING WORTH WHILE.

I AM VERY PROUD OF ONE THING WE HAVE HAD HALLOWEEN CANDY IN OUR HOUSE SINCE THURSDAY AND I HAVEN’T HAD ONE PIECE. MY DAUGHTER COUNTED HERS SO THAT WAS A HUGE HELP.  SHE WILL KNOW IF SOMEONE TOOK A PIECE.

I go to the office one day a week and that is tuesday. So while I was there today all I did was crave snacks all day long. The girl who shares the cubical with me is one of those girls that is a size two and eats junk food and take out all day. I was so irritated with her. I feel bad because it is not her fault. Does anyone have good snack ideas to take to the office with me? I took dried cranberries and almonds today and it did nothing for me I still wanted potatoe chips and chocolate. Please help before I kill my cubie!!!!!

Today is the first day of the Turbo Jam fitness program. I am very excited to get started. I have gained a lot of weight after having my two girls and it is time to get back to my pre baby body. My best friend and I are going to try and do this together so we will see what happens.